When we are the target of blame or criticism it can knock us off our mindful centeredness and leave us spinning in self-doubt and resentment. What do we do with that negative energy?
This is where being the observer is so important. Immediately we want to defend ourselves and attack back. But if we are able to step aside from the accusation, we can observe our emotions and thoughts. The other person is in pain. The greatest gift we can give in that moment is to listen and not respond. Have you ever noticed a time when you were upset and you just want someone to hear you? Listening can change the experience from one of attack to one of surrender.
Listening allows us to take our human personality out of the picture. Of course, there are emotions in reaction to what was said. But as we listen we are able to set aside our human personality and be present. Then when we respond we do so out of love.
Recently several clients were confronted with anger and resentment. They reacted not by responding to their accuser, but they called for spiritual support to stay connected in love. As they were able to acknowledge their feelings, recognize their beliefs and stand in truth, they were set free from pain. Most of all, they were able to observe the other person with love. Staying in love is critical to living in Grace.
